The End of the War
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: AU from canon. Cora talks to Robert after he has given his speech at the end of the war. One shot.


Sorry for not posting anything for such a long time! There have been a few (very good) changes in my life and I just needed some time to deal with them. We'll see how frequently I can post things, it might not be as often as it used to be, but I am still very much enjpying fanfiction!

Hope you all have a spectacular weekend!

Please let me know what you think about this story.

Thank you!

Kat

* * *

Robert's speech has moved her. He has a gift for speaking publicly and in just a few well-chosen sentences he put all their feelings into words. Of course it was very English, very dignified as Carson said, but it was moving nonetheless. She wonders if she should say anything to him and so she follows him outside. Quite opposed to the pride he should feel and show after having given such a good speech he stands turned away from the Abbey, his shoulders slumped, his arms dangling at his sides. A wave of pity overcomes her for her husband. She realizes that she does not know what has him so cast down. She doesn't know because they haven't really talked to each other in weeks, probably in months. Running the convalescent home, especially after Isobel's leaving, has been a Herculean task. She enjoys running it the way she does, she enjoys being responsible and having something to do, but it has taken up quite a lot of her time. Maybe too much time. But the war is over now and better days are ahead. She walks up to Robert but he doesn't seem to realize that she is standing next to him. So she slips her hand into his and gives it a squeeze. His fingers intertwine with hers, although she has the feeling that it was a reaction out of habit rather than anything else. When Robert looks at her and realizes that she is there, his eyes become darker and cloud over and she thinks that for a moment she sees slight disappointment in them.

.

.

Carson said his speech was dignified. He doesn't know why, but he sets quite a lot of store by what the butler said. Maybe that is because Carson and he seem to be the only ones left from a world long gone by, a world destroyed by a war that killed millions of people, a war said to end all wars, a saying he hopes against hope is true. His thoughts keep wandering, they turn around the fact that he hasn't fired a single gunshot in this war. And then they move on to Jane. He does not seem to be able to stop thinking about her, or maybe he doesn't want to stop because thinking about her makes him feel alive. He knows he is treading very dangerous grounds, if Cora found out she would be mad beyond words and stop talking to him, but then again, where would be the difference to how things are now? And after all, it is only day dreaming that he does. He won't really take Jane to bed, or at least that is what he hopes. But when he feels a hand slight into his, for a very brief moment he hopes that it is Jane's hand and for another brief moment he is very disappointed when he realizes that it is Cora's. She gives him a tired smile, one that makes her look sad rather than happy and he wonders what it is that she wants.

"That was a very good speech," she says.

"Hm," he grunts.

"It was," she says and touches his forearm with her other hand. He wonders why she does that. They are in full view of the house and the staff and the officers.

"Cora," he says and wishes she would let go of him. Somehow her touching him now does not go well with his daydreams about Jane.

"I wish you'd tell me what's on your mind," she says. That is something he can't do. He can't tell his wife that he has been fantasizing about a maid, about going behind her back.

"Nothing," he says and a feeling of emptiness settles on his chest.

"I doubt that," she replies and puts her head on his shoulder. It is hard for him not to shrug her off. "Four years of war are over. Something must be on your mind."

"I didn't fire a single shot."

"And I am very glad about it."

He wants to protest, object, tell her that she is belittling him but she just keeps on speaking as if she hadn't realized that he wanted to say something as well.

"I am very glad Robert, although I know it is not what you wanted. Usually I hope for things to go your way but not in this. I couldn't, still can't stomach the thought of you being part of that horrible war, sitting in the trenches, waiting to be shot. I'd have gone mad with worry for you."

"Would you? Would you have worried about me?" Cora looks at him as if she couldn't believe his words. Her brows are knitted together, her mouth is half open. And then she swallows once.

"Of course I would have worried about you. I love you."

.

.

She looks at him, into his eyes, eyes that are clouded over with guilt. And in that moment she knows. She knows that Robert has been thinking about another woman and it is obvious to her why he let his thoughts and fantasies wander. Because he felt like a fool. The army rejected him and in a way so did she. She put her work first, she put her work above everything and didn't realize that while she moved forward with the changing world, Robert couldn't catch up, not by himself, not without her help. And so he tried to find help somewhere else. She feels a lump forming in her throat and tears brimming in her eyes.

"Robert," she says and nothing more.

"I am sorry," he whispers and then wraps his arms around her. She puts her head under his chin in an attempt to show him that she is not mad, that she still wants to be close to him. The moment her head touches Robert's chest she feels as if she had come home from a very long journey. She tries to remember the last time they just held each other, held each other for comfort, not out of habit after a quick and almost emotionless tryst in her bedroom. She can't remember and swears to herself to never let it come that far again.

.

.

"It's over," she whispers to him. "It is all over." And he knows she does not just mean the war. She means the troubles between them just as well.

"Yes," he says and then puts his arms around her.

They remain wrapped around one another for untold minutes and when he lifts his head, he sees Jane standing on the drive, staring at them. He never made her any promises, he really did not do anything besides talking to her and helping her son, but he is sure that she was of the impression that he might want more. And that she would not have minded giving it to him. He throws her an apologetic glance, on the he hopes tells her that it is not her fault, that he was wrong, that he has let it go too far, that he loves another woman and that he could never go behind that woman's back. He watches Jane turn around and walk towards the Abbey. The moment she vanishes around the corner the sun breaks through the sky and Cora looks up at him.

"I love you," she says again and he smiles. It is a good day. The sun is shining and the war has come to an end. In all respects.


End file.
